Department of Weedy Affairs Interoffice Memo

TO: All Human Allies
FROM: Department of Weedy Affairs
RE: CALL OR TEXT THE EPA HOTLINE (240) 808-2372

Dearest friends and supporters,

I send this message from the Department of Weedy Affairs (DWA), the Environmental Performance Agency’s new office in Washington, D.C. As the Chief Safety Officer of a department founded to take “environmental protection” beyond humans, I want to alert you to the many threats to multispecies well being that have been ignored or actively exacerbated since US EPA administrator Scott Pruitt took office. Issues such as:

  • the rollback of car emission standards, and cuts to climate and clean energy programs
  • the rejection of proposed bans on harmful pesticides
  • the removal of “climate change” from US EPA and FEMA strategic plans
  • the rollback of key toxic air pollution regulations
  • the approval of Keystone XL and Dakota Access pipelines
  • a proposed rule change that would restrict threatened species from receiving the full protections of the Endangered Species Act
  • and the rejection of the Bureau of Land Management’s public land use planning process, among many others.

As the Chief Safety Officer I assure you that our staff at the DWA, made up of the most resilient of your kingdom Plantae, can handle these threatening environmental conditions. We’ve been evolving to endure the excesses of post-industrial Capitalism for generations. However, the other nonhuman species with whom we share this world will not be able to cope so easily, and place human well-being in further danger.

In response, the Department of Weedy Affairs has activated the web platform OnBehalfOf.Life to encourage our human allies to submit public comments to the US EPA on behalf of another species. We urge you to raise your voice and call or text the Environmental Performance Agency’s hotline (240) 808-2372 and leave a message for Scott Pruitt and US EPA officials on behalf of a species who can’t.

Let them know what you think about these changes, and help us imagine a governmental agency that advocates for ecological justice in a multispecies entangled world. Your contribution will be hand-delivered on June 15, 2018 to the steps of the US Environmental Protection Agency’s headquarters in Washington DC. All comments will also be displayed online at OnBehalfOf.Life

If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact my office.

Sincerely,

 

 

 

 

Buckhorn Plantain
Department of Weedy Affairs, Chief Safety Officer
1404 P Street NW, Washington DC